Paradise Spoilt - Part 2: Disappointment



Oahu, Hawaii

When one thinks of the words Caribbean or Tropical Island, one generally thinks things like: sun, fun, lazy days on the hammock, lying on white sandy beaches and swimming in crystal clear seas.

In a word: paradise.

One does not think: mosquitoes, no-see-ums, sand-flies, fire ants, tarantulas, lizards, cockroaches, iguanas, wasps and all kinds of stinging plants. And that's just what I've figured out so far. All those wonderful things associated with the Caribbean that I should be doing here on this island, are spoiled by a multitude of unruly pests that are growing by the day!

So why didn't any of this cross my mind when we were contemplating this venture? I can't believe I didn't at least consider the mosquitoes! That should've been the most obvious. But surely the rest I can claim ignorance to without too much stupidity.
 
For as it turns out, the Caribbean - or at least this island, is not paradise.

Yet, come to think about it, the atmosphere, hot and sweet, is ripe for an explosion of these organisms.

Yet nobody tells you the mosquitos are going to intrude on that peaceful sleep in the hammock, or the minute you stand still ants could swarm your feet like militia reacting to a breach of their territory, even a brush with the wrong plant will leave you burning before you know what's happened.

Let's just say it's not something they advertise in the brochures.

But surely this is rampant all over the Caribbean, not just this island, and surely not even the resorts can be immune to the most notorious pest. Do people really put up with it? Because I can't; these varmin are sucking the island vibe out of me.

I don’t like creepy crawly things but I can put up with most things as long as they don’t sting or bite, like the lizards. They're even kind of cute. It's lucky for me that I don't mind them, because they are everywhere. Big ones, smalls ones, all kinds of varieties, even chameleons (who look so funny doing their little 'push-ups' with their front limbs). They swarm the patio lounging in the sun then dart across the pavement startled by the slightest noise. Jasper spends his day chasing them, he loves it. 

I can even handle the cockroaches, though I'd rather not. But the mosquitoes and ants are the sting in my step. I don't actually see them much, but I know they are there by the little itchy bumps that appear all over my skin. Inside or outside there is no relief, since we need to leave the glass doors open because of the heat. The screen doesn't help, let alone the gaps in the doors from the shoddy building. Then down in the orchard hide bands of ant hills. I learnt that my first day. Luckily I haven't encountered the fire-ants yet, I hear they are brutal, but I'm not looking to find out. I've decided to stay clear of the orchard as much as possible.

A friend decides to join us in the apartment

There is just so many things that are vicious here. Apparently they’ve adapted all kinds of defence mechanisms, for what I don’t know. How tough can it be evolving in paradise? Apparently it’s brutal. Or maybe, ultimately and ironically, it was a fight against human expansion that brought it on, otherwise without these things, it could be perfect - and everyone would move in!

I mean, how can you enjoy the beautiful weather, the fresh air, and beaches aplenty, when you're giving your skin over to the parasitical warlords?

With that aside, there are the things no one expects of paradise: the drought, the garbage, the  the crime. Those are the things you can escape from if you're in a five-star resort and pretend it's not there. But that would not do for me either. I couldn't cover my eyes to the realities of the island even if I was staying in a five-star resort, I might as well have not travelled so far. Anyway, for me its about discovery, not just the confines of a resort that is practically uniform no matter where you go.

Which brings me to my point: that it's a big disappointment, and a shame really, that an island, especially one so undeveloped, and one purported to have the best beaches in the Caribbean - maybe the world - should be so... well, ugly.

There is hardly any character in the town, barely even a glimpse left in those buildings from a bygone era. Regardless, bars on all the windows destroy what little character remains. Roads crumble underneath too much traffic. And then there's the trash. It seems to be an island devoid of charm and dignity. How can you turn this into a tourist haven?

Can you believe we found this chair?!

Litter trails everywhere the eye can see, in people's yards, along the roads, even the beaches are used as a dumping ground. On our second day here we took off to experience our first dip in the island's waters. Not knowing our way around yet we decided to go to the closest beach that Eric had pointed out to us which was near the dump and the Vet. He told us it wasn't the best beach for swimming, more a place to take the dogs, because it was very rocky in the water.

This was true but it was otherwise a nice little secluded beach with a view to the other island Culebra - well, it would've been nice, but we found it also marred by waste. On entering the beach we were met by a huge mountain of construction debris. Someone had just dumped their leftovers right here, about this beautiful beach. What made it more confounding was the dump was only about a kilometre away! Chase also found a few discarded beach chairs, one of which he decided was fit enough for his own use (as you can see in the picture above). He decided to keep it while the other he also put in the back of the car to dispose of properly.

Now don’t get me wrong, I've been to tropical islands before; we went to Vanuatu on our honeymoon. In many respects there is a lot that’s comparable to that island. Yet in many other ways it’s so completely different, and Vanuatu blows Vieques out of the water. 

The local market in the capital 'city' Port Vila

Like Vieques, Vanuatu has a poor economy, a forceful jungle, and a very small and basic main 'city', it has also been used and abused by the Americans in pursuit of war. It even has mosquitoes, a major nuisance, but one that can be endured considering it was the only nuisance. Vanuatu ranks highly in my pursuit of paradise: verdant volcanic mountains and valleys, vibrant reefs and plunging waterfalls, a unique culture full of tradition, and while the better beaches were hard to get to, they were none-the-less pleasing.

Some friendly Ni Vanuatu kids giving us the thumbs up

But ultimately, it’s the positive attitude and cultural spirit of the inhabitants that makes this little Melanesian island really special. How the Ni-Vanuatu people choose to live amongst such similar adversities is strikingly different to the Viequense. The Ni-Vanuatu seem to be the happiest, most friendly, people we have ever met; crime is almost non-existent (there's only a handful of people in their jail) and they don't seem to disregard their land they way the Puerto Ricans do. Certainly, the isolation may have been more prominent to me had I been living there not holidaying, but it would've at least taken me longer to notice.　

And then there's Hawaii. That might have been the catalyst to my disappointing reaction to Vieques right there: I love Hawaii and we stopped there on the way to Puerto Rico. From that, to this, really emphasises the differences between these two worlds, and they are vast. It was the second time we'd visited Hawaii and I have to say, it might be the closest thing I have found so far that comes close to my notion of paradise - even if this time it rained most of our trip (but I guess that's what you need to keep it from looking as it does in Vieques). Of the two Hawaiian islands I've been to, the Big Island and Oahu, Oahu is my favourite. It’s got everything I need: daunting jagged mountains, all kinds of beaches from serene to surfable, and enchanting rustic towns. It has one big city for every materialistic want you may crave (and I do have some, I must say) but it's not too over-crowded or brazen, and even has some charming and historical structures. 
 

And as I recall I never got bitten by anything. Not once.

Now, as I sit here and contemplate my fate, I'm feeling rather despondent. But it's early days. We have more to discover and learn, and we haven't even found the good beaches yet (if there really are any). With all my might I'm trying to shrug off this feeling and keep my thoughts positive. First impressions can be deceiving.

And, here's a positive: at least there are no snakes!